"It is impossible to live artistically before one has made up one's mind to abandon hope; for hope precludes self-limitation. It is a very beautiful sight to see a man put out to sea with the fair wind of hope, and one may even use the opportunity to be taken in tow; but one should never permit hope to be taken aboard one's own ship, least of all for a pilot; for hope is a faithless shipmaster."

S. Kierkegaard

driven but never bouyed am thinking of the line to be drawn when no more is said to saying yes to this and that but rather NO, NO MORE I shout in response to moving backwards always backwards ...LISTEN, now I choose to say no more...the time has come to make a declaration in this the more consequential time of life...the wolf of dreams and wall hangings has become one with that child of sad eyes...that child who grew to become, what?

ah, poor grasshopper frittering here and there while ants do plod along all commonly secure in knowing that tomorrow is provided for...and who would have thought that this sad child marine miner driver lover thief and liar yearning always of a sun unbound by darkness was to become himself a grasshopper caring nought for anything but the instinct driven...

no...the time has come as there steals now a peaceful smile uncalled for in those days of mindless plodding...

grasshopper thinks. wonders actually. of the how, the causes, the destines which have drawn him to this here, this now. grasshopper wonders. thinks the how of his come to this. grasshopper. is confused.

grasshopper sees. wants actually. to hold onto those glimpses of a dim dim past. remembered as flashes in the dark, his dark, flashes as in a cloud. a cloud not called for, a cloud of warp.

grasshopper knows. of wrong. some right. a balance. once. gone now. the balance. references none. anchors. gone. attachments. gone. tethers dissolved. gone. no more.

grasshopper fears. almost. the reckoning. a time of no answers. grasshopper. fears. not the lack of an answer. rather, the lack of justice, resolution, balance. instead he sees futility, fabrication, conjurations. instead. he sees a myth

and. always. grasshopper wonders...