Introduction

As I believe is self-evident, access to cyberspace pre-supposes a degree of literacy and expertise wherever one springs from. Actually, this is not always the case.

Amongst the First Nations it is the Old Ones who "teach." And their Way is not always polished with proper grammar and literary constructions. In truth, it is the very lack of these enhancements that lends beauty to their written words. The piece you are about to encounter is one such.

Find the Beauty. Here...

Jordan S. Dill

Woke up thinking and had went to sleep thinking. It seems for every thought i have i have this diolog that goes on and nothing ever becomes resolved. Not being raized traditional outside of the warped ways of the times i was brought up in a time of lies, distorations, double and more meanings to everything and all of that and what seemed to me totaly out of balance. Haveing to figure it out all the time....as nothing stayed consistent and seemed to change to adjust to who and whom ever was speaking or held the rope...or gavel.

Now with many roads or trails that only went round and round and spending alot of the time on the ground it seems tho i understand the prosess of what happened, it's not much different only larger and more complex.

What ended up keeping me here in the relm of whats called reality by the most of the white or and wascicu society was finding a few others who knew and were willing to share how and about the chanku Luta way.

i began by going out and sitting on the hill...each year i learned more how to do that...so have been out a lot...as i say, each year i learned a little more. i went out to learn how to live in the world of the two-leggeds...and be helpfull to that and that alone...many years and tears passed by...I never felt it was my way to dance perhaps i knew it was created for the men to dance to honner, surrender, grow in understanding and become closer to spirit...a way to connect to all....anyways i never felt the call to do this and hence i supported in the many ways there were to do so....always liveing year to year to going up...then coming down fullfilled with strength of spirit to live and serve the next year as it is to unfold.

sometimes and well maybe most of the time i could not tell what i was given intelectualy...only knew i made the committment to continue...so time passed...life between then and now is like a book...a novel of multi-experieces that shoved and pushed me each day to make it possible to still be here and help the future in some manner agin not knowing precisely what that is and never will. nor do i want to.

About 6 weeks before this years honnering of the sun dance i was asked to be in the arbor...not to dance per say...as it's not my way..but to hold the cannunpa and dance the four days inside the circle and represent in some manner the woman who brought it to the people...a way to live and give life to the future generations with instructions...percise and clear...Not in some symbolical manner but to do this and let what happens happen as the spirits worked through me so to speak.

All i can say at this point is i did all four days...what it taught me is what the idea or concept of the Hollow bone means..due to the experienchial teaching...i was in awe...and still am...so some see it as what i did...where as i see what happened as a result of what i attempted to do...my little failings didn't effect what was to be showan and done by spirit...

the difference's i see and bang up aginist here there and everywhere is this difference and the crossfire of attempting to walk and talk and do is what others working on to understand and or interpet...This mostly means the interpeter talks by doing not talking...an ole saying from where many here are familuar with is "walk your talk."

for me it is my walk is my talk as my talk is in transission..english causes the crosfire hence the truths or meanings are lost in the jounney. Some as menchioned are metaphore for what happened...how it came about is another story. They are the hollow bone that all flows though but the hollow bone is alive and has life also.

Pilamiya to all who knew and saw and sent out those prayers so that this experience could happen and to all those it helped. Those of us who walk on the outside of the circle (loners) or feel so apart most of the time and yet see all...are in fact holding up or down the hoop in some manner...those postitions can change back and forth or in and out...trick is to know when to hold and know when to fold and know when to walk away (to another part or) really never leaving just shifting with the shade of the tree under the same sun...the giver of life...and walk always in a honnering way...

there is always a small piece of shade...combining the physical, the emotional, the intelectual with the foundations of the reality's of the spiritual...then follow the instuctions....such is life.